Have you ever wondered why it seems that you are not growing spiritually? Do you seem to be going backward, not making any spiritual headway? Maybe it has something to do with the clothes you are wearing.
You might want to check yourself against James 1: 19-21. My paraphrase of this passage is:
“My beloved brethren in the Lord, you must be a careful, thoughtful listener; slow to speak, carefully choosing your words; slow to get angry; rather be patient, reflective, forgiving because the resentful, deep-seated human anger does not produce the standard of behavior God requires from us. With a humble, meek, and gentle spirit, receive the word of God.”
Also, James 3:13. Again my translation: “Who among you is wise and understanding? Give evidence or show proof of it for others to see by your good behavior, your deeds in the gentleness of wisdom, which is the ability to view life from God’s perspective.”
What in the world does it mean to show our deeds in the gentleness of wisdom? First of all, wisdom is not measured by the amount of education one has or the number of degrees hanging on their walls.
Nor is it the amount of knowledge we carry around in our minds; it has nothing to do with intelligence, or what our IQ may be. Rather it is understanding the Word of God and knowing how to apply truth in our every day relationships and interactions. The words become action; we are “living epistles read by everyone.” (2 Corinthians 3: 2)
The Pharisees described Jesus as a man of integrity in Mark 12:14. “Teacher, we know that You are truthful and have no personal bias toward anyone; for You are not influenced by outward appearances or social status, but in truth, You teach the way of God.” He lived what He taught. He was the same person no matter who crossed His path, no matter the situation; He was transparent to all.
When you receive the Word with meekness as James 1: 21 instructs, you accept it as the voice of God speaking. You do not argue or twist it to conform to your thinking, but honor it as the Word of God. Do not assume you are living a life of genuine submission to God because you agree with God. The real test of submission is when you do not like what God requires from you because you do not agree or understand; regardless, you humbly submit to His Word. Submission is not about being powerless; it is about meekness, gentleness, humility, controlled strength. To be in complete submission and reliance on God makes us ready to receive God’s word.
James is telling us, if you want to know if someone is wise, look at their behavior. One of the indicators of wisdom, putting truth into action, is gentleness. And no one can demonstrate gentleness, who is not at the same time humble.
Remember, humility and gentleness go hand in hand; you cannot have one without the other. If a person is wise and understanding, he will demonstrate it by his gentle conduct, “deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.” God has given every believer the Holy Spirit, who enables and empowers us to walk in the Spirit so that we will not fulfill the lust of our flesh. He will, also, create in us the desire to become the person God desires. My motivation to endure, hold fast, is my longing to have the image of God revealed in me.
Second Corinthians 5:17, tells me I am a new creature, a new man. I have been transformed with a new heart that reflects God not only in action but also in desire. God changes me from the inside out. In contrast, religion and laws work to restrain my actions from the outside in. It has never worked, and never will it work. You do not have to look very far in today’s world to understand what I mean.
Biblical gentleness should be an ever-present restraint in all our thoughts and actions. It must be developed since it is generally lacking. Here are some tests to see if you are developing gentleness:
Harshness: If you are mean in your treatment of others, if there is an absence of gentleness in your treatment of others, TAKE HEED.
Grasping: If you make sure you always get yours first, if being #1 is the subtle driving force in your life, if you care little about how your actions affect others, BEWARE.
Vengeful: When you are on the highway, do you want to get even with the driver who just rudely pulled in front of you? If you are known as someone never to cross, if you always get your “pound of flesh,” BE ON YOUR GUARD.
Uncontrolled: Do you get angry at the slightest annoyances or inconveniences? Do you blame others for your anger? Is your life a series of explosions caused by the “fools” in your life? WATCH OUT.
TO DEVELOP GENTLENESS:
We must choose to be humble. The key to humility is in learning to see our own mistakes and weaknesses. When this occurs, we soften our attitude toward the mistakes of others.
We will forgive readily because any offense toward us is nothing compared to our offenses against God—offenses He’s already forgiven (Matthew 18:23-35). The humble and gentle attitude expresses itself in patient submissiveness to the offense, free from malice and the desire for revenge. Competition, bigotry, narrow-mindedness, bias, prejudice, judging, and criticizing others will disappear. I come to God, not out of obligation, but out of gratitude. Humility makes no demands on God; it does not even consider any rights or stipulations!
We must choose to have restraint and control over our flesh. I must empty myself of myself, any attitude, thought, or emotion that is motivated by selfish ambition – self-centeredness. 
Only then, can I receive all that I need from God. As we bring our actions and emotions under the supervision (control) and the power of the Holy Spirit, He will enable us to bridle our tongues as one would bridle a horse and lead it where it should go.
He will teach us how to train our feelings to respond righteously, and enable us to restrain and subdue any harshness in our temperaments.
We must allow the Holy Spirit to develop a gentle character within us. Our abrasive conduct can only be brought under control by restraint. Still, we will never experience peace within until there is a change that takes place within our character—until we have a humble disposition or temperament that automatically prompts us to deal kindly with people. Our attitude is shaped in the environment of humility just as our viewpoint or perception of a situation is shaped in the atmosphere of gratefulness. Our attitudes are not shaped in a vacuum. They are expressions of deeper realities within us. When we have an attitude problem, in reality, we have an arrogance problem.
Gentleness comes as we grow spiritually. As we develop love and forgiveness and learn to concentrate on people’s virtues or qualities rather than their faults, we develop gentleness.
GOD’S DRESS CODE
Every day, for work, school, or recreation, we have to decide what to wear. But we must also make choices about another wardrobe – our attitudes and actions. If we profess to be followers of Christ, our spiritual apparel is of far greater significance than our physical clothing.
His chosen people are to clothe themselves with kindness, humility, meekness, gentleness, longsuffering. We are to demonstrate patience and forgiveness. And above all, we must put on love, which is the bond of perfection (Colossians 3: 12-14).
Do I begin each day by acknowledging Christ as the Person in charge, the One for whom I serve? Do I take time to clothe myself with attitudes that please Him, that are precious in His sight? Am I wearing what people are most longing to see: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love? If so, I will be dressed for success in God’s service. Gentleness is Christianity with its working clothes on.
Whose clothes am I wearing today? God’s or my own?
Can people see that Christ is in me before I tell them?