Gentleness is a word that we do not talk about very much. I wonder why? As I began studying the Scripture passages where you find the words ‘gentleness’ or ‘gentle,’ I believe I discovered at least one reason why:
Gentleness and Humility are linked together!
To be gentle in our responses to others requires the internal attitude of humility. Thus, humility is both internal and external in its realization in one’s life, and gentleness is one of the best English words to express its outward display. Humility describes a condition of the mind and our inner being—an internal attitude—whereas gentleness describes kindness combined with tenderness. It refers to our actions, our behavior.
They go hand in hand; they work together.
Think about it: Most of the world’s literature and entertainment have exalted the conquering hero who refuses to submit and stands against anyone who might challenge them. Most of the world’s cultures have reserved their rewards for people who compete successfully through their strength of will and superior power.
Often, the most rewarded salesmen are those with the most aggressive methods. And what about politicians? Or presidents of large corporations? How many humble and gentle politicians or CEOS can you name? We have learned that strife, argumentation, contention as more efficient to get what we want.
And in contrast, the humble and gentle person is often ridiculed for being weak and soft, seemingly walked all over, and of no real value in our present-day world.
Society would tell us that some people have a personality that lends itself more readily to being gentle or kind. But the Word of God does not make allowances for one’s personality – it merely commands all believers to be gentle – in our homes, in our workplace, in our church, among other people.
No matter our personality, no matter what excuses we may make, why we are not gentle, Scripture teaches that we are fully equipped to be gentle with one another.
Gentleness is the 8th facet or component of the Fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5: 22-23. Remember, the Spirit’s ‘fruit’ is singular, but to help us understand what the fruit is to look like as we relate to others, the Lord described the ‘fruit’ with different components.
Gentleness is the fruit of power. The Holy Spirit within every believer is ecstatic, delighted when we walk humbly before God and others. The result of obedience is power from within through the Holy Spirit to fulfill God’s command to walk in the Spirit so I will not fulfill the lusts or desires of my flesh. (Galatians 5:16)
There are at least eight different Greek words that express different shades of meaning for gentleness. The primary Greek word indicates a mild, soothing, modest, unassuming, unpretentious, tenderhearted quality. However, it is not weakness. This family of words expresses strength with discipline or power under control. It is the quality that conveys the idea of being adaptable to the needs of others.
It is showing restrained patience under challenging circumstances. It is experiencing hurt or injustice with patience and without resentment or bitterness. The word suggests having one’s emotions under control, balance born in strength of character.
In secular Greek writings, the word for gentle was used to describe a wild stallion that has been domesticated. This wild horse has been trained to obey a command; it has learned to answer to the reins and be controlled by another. It was also a word that was used by the Greek population to describe a soothing wind and healing medicine. In each case, there is power, but it is power under control. If the wind is out of control, it becomes a destructive storm; too much medicine can kill; you cannot ride an unbroken horse.
What does God say about the quality of gentleness also translated meekness? In I Peter 3:3-4, God writes to wives: “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
Why is a meek, gentle, quiet spirit so precious to God?
As I stated initially, one of the first things I learned about gentleness or meekness is that it is often linked with humility. In Ephesians 4: 1-2, Paul writes, “Live a life worthy of your calling; … being humble, forsaking arrogance, maintaining self-control and gentleness with patience, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your unselfish love.”
And in Colossians 3, he writes, “as God’s own chosen people, … wear His clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes. Make allowances for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you or has a complaint against you; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive. Let God’s peace rule your hearts…” (verses 12-13, 15)
You notice that both of these passages deal with relationships. Gentleness follows humility because it is only with a humble attitude that we can have a gentle approach.
Why do I say this?
Humility is the opposite of pride. Remember that pride has two extremes: thinking too highly of ourselves and thinking too lowly of ourselves. True humility is exalting others; it is not speaking low of ourselves. Consider concentrating on extolling Christ and others. Then, genuine humility will be sure, and we are enabled to be that soothing wind, healing medicine, power under control in any situation that confronts us.
Humility, along with gentleness, empowers us to suffer injury or insult willingly rather than inflict pain. The gentle person is not avenging, self-asserting, self-defensive, or vindictive but is humble, quiet, and soothing. When the gentle person becomes angry, God’s name is being slandered, or others are being harmed – not because of what has been done against themselves. Their anger is controlled and carefully directed, power under control; it is not a careless and wild venting of emotion that spatters everyone nearby.
When we are harsh, cold, unfeeling, unkind, crude, or rough in our mannerism, no one speaks of our enchanting behavior. Or, when we are loud-mouthed, dictatorial, cantankerous, speaking bitter words —no person is ever heard saying of us, “What a delightful attitude they have!” We may have many excellent qualities, but our inability to be gentle mars our character’s beauty. Our life is, sadly, flawed.
Humility is required if we desire to mature spiritually. When we are conscious of our nothingness, what we were before grace lifted us from the miry clay, we are enabled to esteem or regard others better than ourselves, which is a good antidote for a spirit of disunity within any relationship.
Join me next time, as we peer inside the lives of God’s servants, who displayed gentleness, a beauty that never fades!